February 23, 2017
I think God might be answering my prayers and I didn’t even notice it until I started writing about doubt and journaling about the magazine. I’ve long wanted to be in a position to sit and write about God all day. In my dreams of dreams I would be God’s scribe. He would do all the dictating and I would write it all down and distribute it. (Hmmm . . . that kinda sounds like something a magazine would be good for.) Even if that didn’t happen writing about God all day would be the next best thing. Then God suggested/told me to start a magazine. That sounds like an answer to a prayer. Poor God. He’s trying to answer my prayer and I don’t even notice it.
Another thing I wanted to do was help people start ministries. Not big major ministries, but for regular people like me who would like to, but don’t quite know how to get one started. The problem was I had never started a ministry, so even though it was something I wanted or, perhaps, felt was needed; I didn’t proceed. Now, I’m journaling about my own ministry in hopes that it will help others. Another prayer answered.It’s funny, I was listening to The Thomistic Institute podcast on Mental Prayer by Father White, OP today and someone asked a question about obscurity in prayer. Fr. White said something along the lines when you feel like you are failing in prayer that is when God is doing the most work. That seems to be the case here. In prayer I feel that God is ever so far away and yet my cup runneth over. I wonder if this is how Lord Jesus felt in the Garden of Gethsemane?