Jounaling my Ministry Startup

I’ve Always Lacked Vision

March 3, 2017

I’ve never been artistic, nor really been attracted to taking it up.  There are two exceptions of which I’m aware: sculpting and mosaics. Yet, I’ve never done either of those unless you count Play-doh and a ceramics class in high school.  So I was rather surprised when I found myself quite happily trying to mold the magazine into some form.  It occurred to me that this would be similar to sculpting. That was a surprise because I had always been attracted to sculpting.  Later I was thinking about redoing the image for My Ministry Journal entry posts to provide more variety from post to post.  As I was considering how to go about that I realized that the images should really be laid out so when viewed in a column the colors would go together: like a mosaic. Once again, something I had wanted to do, but never tried.

And since God seems to be granting me my heart’s desire I began to wonder had my heart truly been set on being a sculpture or doing mosaics?  So I was searching my heart when God said I had.  Why had I never pursued it?  It was then that I remembered I had desired it, but, at the time, hadn’t  a clue on what I might sculpt. When I tried to picture it: nothing.  I was completely uninspired.  And lacking that inspiration when I tried to look down the road and see if it was a good fit for my life I couldn’t see it.  The same could be said after watching a documentary on the artists who formed the mosaics for the Vatican.  What would I make a mosaic of?  A big black blank.  No inspiration and, therefore, no vision. 

God made me realize that much of my life had been this way: I’ve always lacked vision.  I’m not sure if this is good or bad.  After reading an article by Michael Novak on the narrowness of the modern woman’s vision for herself I realized that the world ended up supplying that vision.  And seeing the muck it’s made of things I can definitely say that’s bad.  But as I didn’t become Christian until I was in my 40’s, from whence should it have come?  My worldly parents?

Perhaps.  In his autobiography Benjamin Franklin relates when he was old enough–which would have been fairly young as apprentices started at an early age, so they could reach journeyman status the same time they attained adulthood–his father took him around to all the different trade shops in town.  His father did this so Benjamin could gain an understanding of what each trade involved.   After each visit His father would ask him if this was something which might interest him.  What his father was doing was trying to find a good fit for his child.  What he wasn’t doing was forcing his child into something that wasn’t right for him.  Nor did his father have him seek after riches and fame, or a flurry of activities.  Instead, he showed Benjamin good honest work.  Work which Benjamin would, hopefully, love.  This might be a good middle ground for non-Christians or even a starting place for Christians.  Even though much of the world’s vision for my life made me unhappy I was able to zone in on a couple of areas that suited me to a tee.  Those made me quite happy.

 After getting glimmers of what God envisions for my life I think there is a better way for Christians.  God, as only God can, is taking all these various pieces of me and forming them into a cohesive life. And thanks be to God for it because if left up to me it would be like dross compared to what God seems to have in store for me.  There’s no doubt in my mind that God wants to do this for all His people.  After listening to the March 6th Johnette Benkovich Women of Grace podcast, where I discovered that the world sells their vision through magazines, I thought that another reason why God chose a magazine may be to provide the world with His vision: what He always meant for them be.


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